Okay, Day 11 down. Yoga X with an ARX make up session, since I had to bail a tad early yesterday to pick up a friend. I really dont know why I went to pick him up, because, well I hate him. Dont get me wrong, he's a great friend. But he's also the type of friend...well, let me re-hash the phone conversations for you. Lets call the friend...um...I'll play it by ear.
7pm
Me: suuuuup. We're on for tonight right? We're seeing Public Enemies right?
Douchezilla: yup. When are you picking me up?
Me: I have to work out and shower, so maybe 2 hrs?
Sausage jockey: 2 hours? Work out? You're weak. And fat. F you. Pick me up now.
Me: Um...how about suckle? I'll call you when i'm done.
Turd Burgler: You're stupid. Ok
*click*
31 minutes later
*ring*
Me: *pant pant* WHAT?
Hemorrhoid: Are you coming or what?
Me: I said 2 hrs,
Asstronaut: That was like an hour and 40 minutes ago.
Me: It was like 20 minutes ago.
Big Ben: So how long?
Me: Hey, does this sound like someone hanging up on you?
*click*
27 minutes later
*ring*
*sigh*
Me: WHAT?
Jack hole: What are you wearing?
Me: Your mom brought me some role playing stuff.
Son of hot mom: She still owes me a damn birthday present. Hey, I had to pay my lawyer today, so you have to pay for my movie ticket. And my power bill.
Me: what do you want?
The Suck: How much longer?
Me: I STILL have to do my ab routine, so...
The Tick: I hope you drop a weight on your face. And your dog eats your carcass.
Me: *sigh* FINE, i'm leaving now.
BFF: I love you.
Me: Die.
There you have it. Proof that true friendship is obtainable, if you just know how to speak to people.
Anyway, I had to skip ARX and thus, tackle it today. But before the mighty ARX, i had Yoga, which I was actually looking foward to.
I was able to really stick with it, and did alot of the poses perfectly, with only a few painful moments, and was even able to do the reachy-under-thigh-around-back-thingy on one side. Jeah boyeee, I was excited about that.
Then I came to the balance poses. I'm about as graceful as an elephant. On roller blades. In mud. But I stuck with it, and wasn't doing horribly embarrassing.
(Now that I think about it, I was doing yoga in my underwear, so I guess the whole thing would probably be categorized as "horribly embarrassing"

Anyway...Then came "crane" or as I like to now call it: "rug burn" Maybe if I really stick with it, next week, I can call it "chipped tooth" or better yet, "short term memory loss".
As I pushed through the pain of exposed muscle on my face, I was able to move on to..hell I dont even remember now. Shoulder stance? Or plough to shoulder stance? Or something that has nothing to do with your feet being straight up in the air, right up until the point they start to fall over your head and you learn exactly what your own navel tastes like.
In this house though, we've decided to call it "the part where we turn Yoga X off"
My wife has lovingly taught my children the unofficial title of "the one daddy was doing when he fell into the window and ripped the mini blinds off the wall".
My wife. So supportive...
If it was more painful when it killed, I would've went and bought some rat poison.
The first part of Yoga X is undeniably beneficial to the human body. I can feel it working immediately. I have NEVER been a believer in Yoga. Not that I didn't know it worked you out good or anything. I just didn't think it was any better than some good stretching and a quick cardio thing. The first 40 min of Yoga changed my mind completely, and I genuinely feel like the Warrior stances and blah blah, really will help to improve your fitness as well as your mind AND soul.
But "Rug Burn"? Sticking your feet up in the air so you look like a missle with no explosives? COME ON.
I'm not saying they're not good yoga poses. I'm saying, I'M NOT TAKING YOGA! I don't need Tony Horton to cram in as many yoga poses as a DVD Will hold. I ONLY need the poses that will benefit my body AS I TRAIN in p90x and beyond. If I like Yoga X and decide I want to further my Yoga knowledge, and want to learn how to transition from "rug burn" to "face plant into my HDTV" and from there into "shattered salt water aquarium" I'll goto a Yoga class in the prissy part of my town.
Whatever. dont judge me. I know yoga is one of the best things a person can do for themselves. I also know p90x is one of the best thinds a person can do for themselves. I ALSO know there's a blending of THOSE lines and the two may coincide TO SOME DEGREE. But to force feed me anything but overpriced protein bars and "super duper recovery drink to the x degree" is pushing it.
I have every "One on One with Yogy Yogarton" DVD, but haven't even looked at them yet, as I want to fully complete p90x first. I hear "Fountain of Youth Yoga" is much better, more to the point and quicker than Yoga X, but i'm going to stick with attempting Yoga X every week because...well, it gives me good writing material. And lets be honest. that's truly what we want here, right?
So maybe next week, I'll get a little deeper into yoga x, and if we're really lucky, I'll end up swallowing a few teeth. Or digesting part of my own stomach. Or *crosses fingers* sitting on my own face!
On a side note, I just got done telling my wife that the key to lifting heavy items is "to put it all in your groin and your back. Take your legs totally out of the equation. Lift with your lower back in a jerking, twisting motion."